"It's TIME!!!"
It's TIME, now....NOW!!!! Why wait another minute. So I didn't. I immediately got out of bed (for that is one of my best thinking zones AND it was the middle of the night) ... I went outside under the blanket of the heavens, the universe, the milky way and the entire beauty of the eve...I chose a flat surface...I bent my knees and I jumped as far as I could...landed and stretched upwards...landed right into My Promised Land.
The leading up to this point has been SO VERY timely.
From last Monday I experienced what seemed low but what actually WAS the meeting point of this particular walk with God.
I was raw.
Raw is necessary.
I was literally the raw lump of clay. I had FINALLY broken off of the rock that I had chosen to cling to. I felt like I fell and crumbled. The only place I felt somewhat secure was in a warm tub of water and as I soaked and spoke to my closest friend over the phone I heard myself speaking from the depths of my heart. My true soul speaking, crying and weeping ... bleeding out my dream and how much I was ready to begin and when and when and WHEN??? Lord....when???
I found myself referring to the Israelites in the desert crossing over to their promised land...the land that was theirs to claim...God GAVE them this. And how when they actually were at the edge of it they frightened themselves and disbelieved it was possible and they NEVER GOT TO GO IN!!!! They wandered the desert until they just faded away.
I spoke of how I wanted to be like Caleb and Joshua and BELIEVE THAT I CAN INDEED GO IN, I CAN INDEED CLAIM THIS PROMISE...I simply believe that God has placed this dream in my heart AND IT IS TIME and I am simply waiting to hear His voice say... "Now."
(This is the story so on point with my journey. Numbers 13:26 - 33 and 14:24)
I knew that night I wasn't to make any decisions EXCEPT the decision to TRUST. Wearily and exhausted...I went to bed.
The next day I chose to give myself a break. I picked up a package a friend mailed, took myself out to breakfast and found I had received my absolute favorite treat...a bottle of bubbly Veuve Clicquot!!! (and a fabulous carrying case!)...oh and just ... "because"...Thanks Janet!
What a gift!
The next day was Wednesday and this IS my much needed studio day...a day free from job. I was ready! I had a coffee with a friend and spoke of all that had "been" in the past few days. We both agreed that this gift I had received from such a dear friend was also a gift from God to celebrate My Life RIGHT NOW.
And so I did.It was an acceptance that indeed I am doing fabulously, living a dream life, blessed beyond even my wildest imagination. I am surrounded by amazing people, true friends, loving family...I am living IN Paradise....I AM blessed....INDEED!!!
I no longer need to be a warrior for I have fulfilled the battle of my Self. I have fought hard and strong the battle of reaching and reaching and I HAVE WON!!!
The prize is with me and in me and is me!
I AM TRULY LIVING MY DREAM!!! It's not even a dream anymore...it just IS!!!
Each moment, each step, each interaction IS exactly on point...even the ones that may "seem" to be questionable are on point...just think of all I have learned!
My current job as a manager (hee hee I just had a typo and spelled that mamager which IS exactly what it is) well EVERYTHING I AM doing, learning, dealing with IS SO VALID FOR MY COMPANY...brilliant training, brilliant fine tuning and such a blessing.
It's not about "when" I leave this j.o.b. ...for that is inevitable...it's not even a question...but the value I am receiving in ALL aspects of my life IS SO VALUABLE!!!
Then last night, Saturday eve, while laying and thinking, and talking with God just grateful for the week and the closeness and blessings...I heard Him...
"Now."
SO I AM IN!!!
Dream realized!
FULL-ON...and what a Wonderful World I have inherited.
Thank You Lord!
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